Do you ever feel like you are spinning your wheels, chasing your tail, or going in circles?
I think we’ve all experienced this from time to time. It’s frustrating. Yet, that’s OK because you will eventually find a path forward.
That is unless you are stuck in the spin cycle. The spin cycle is murky and confusing, and you might feel like you’re living your own annoying version of that classic movie Groundhog Day.
We used to refer to this as DDSS (different day, same shit). And when you are in this space, it is hard to find a path forward. And there’s a reason for that.
When you find yourself stuck, and although you’ve tried and tried and tried some more, you still don’t understand why you’re still stuck or why you keep repeating that pattern or situation, you are probably looking in the wrong place for the answer.
Another clue that you are looking in the wrong place is when all your efforts to work through it, or the processes you use to try and clear it, do not resolve it. You may get some relief. For a while. And then it creeps back in again.
Why?
Because your mind is getting in the way of you finding a solution.
If you’re stuck and keep going in a circle like you’re chasing your tail, the real cause is eluding you because you are looking at it from what you think it should be as opposed to what it truly is.
This may be on a conscious or subconscious level.
Often the solution you seek is hiding in your Shadow.
To get to the heart of the matter, the truth of what is really going on, you need to ask questions that can penetrate beneath the surface of the story that you tell yourself.
What story have you created about this situation or problem that you believe is true?
Is it really true?
We all have stories that we tell. We are quite good at making up stories to explain why things are the way they are. Why we can or can’t do something. Why we can't have something we want. We tell our stories to other people. We tell stories to ourselves all the time.
One of the things that triggers a story is the way you have been conditioned or taught, what you learned or bought from others as true, what you believe, and your perspective… about how the world works, about life, what’s acceptable/what’s not, and about you as a person.
And most of this has been going on behind your conscious awareness since you were a wee tot.
Another aspect of this is what you learned about asking questions!
If you were anything like me, you probably drove your parents nuts asking questions.
I think for the first couple of years of my life, “Why” was my favorite word. And the frustrating answer I often received was “Because.” Or if my questing and questioning had sufficiently worn my mom or dad down, “Because I said so. Now stop asking me.”
When you’re a kid, you ask why a lot.
It’s pure curiosity bubbling over.
You want to understand your world and the people in it.
And yeah, sometimes you might have annoyed others with all the “why is this, why is that” questions you asked.
Perhaps you were even made wrong and told to stop asking questions.
(Never stop asking questions! Question everything. Including all of your thoughts and beliefs! And question anyone who claims to be an authority.)
Fast forward to your adult years. Seldom do you ask a curious “why?” Somewhere along the way, it got warped into something like:
“Why is this happening to me?”
“Why can’t I seem to do anything right?”
“Why do people always do this to me or treat me this way?”
“Why do I always make such stupid choices?”
“Why am I so miserable?”
“Why does it have to be so hard?”
Instead of opening up the possibilities the way that “Curious Why” questions do, those kinds of why questions above trigger “The Story.”
Yes, the “Poor Me” version of asking why will immediately trigger the story or any number of stories you default to.
Stories that were created to explain the stuff that went down, most likely in your childhood, although we can continue to make up stories at any age.
You have a whole library of stories that you tell yourself about why something is going on with you and why things are the way they are.
Today I invite you to use your innate power and intuition to go beneath the usual stories.
Instead of asking, “Why?” ask, “What is this really about?”
Other good questions you can play with are:
“How is this situation serving me?”
“How is this trying to keep me safe?”
“What am I judging about this/me?”
“What judgments am I afraid others will have of me?” “And what do I fear will happen as a result of that?”
“What conclusions have I made?” “And is it true?”
“What meanings have I assigned to this?” “Where did those ideas come from?”
“What am I avoiding by having this as a problem? What am I afraid will happen or I will have to do if I no longer have this problem?”
“What else is possible that I’m not seeing right now?”
“What am I really afraid of?”
“What am I afraid of knowing, seeing, and/or being aware of that might require me to take action and change something in my life?”
Our preconceptions, expectations, conclusions, and judgments limit our possibilities. They disempower us.
Asking questions and being open to receiving answers from intuition, Source/Spirit, or other ways it can show up is empowering. (Just don't let your mind answer the questions, or back into the loop you will go!)
If you aren’t sure you are receiving a message from your intuition, guides, or Spirit, one way to know is discerning if the answer/energy feels expansive or constricting, light or heavy.
If it feels more expansive or lighter (even a smidge lighter), it is true for you.
If it feels dense and heavy and constricting… that’s a no.
Your body can demonstrate an easy way to determine this.
When you think of taking a specific action regarding your situation, notice what your body is doing...
If your body is tightening and constricting: arms crossed, curling in on yourself, shoulders trying to touch your ears, muscles tight, or you might want to run away. That’s telling you, this is not a good option right now.
If your body feels loose and at ease, even if you feel nervous, this is more expansive. That tells you that this choice is in alignment with you.
In 2025 we move from the 8 universal energy of 2024 to the 9 energy of 2025. The 9 is the number of completion, endings and letting go (among other things).
Stop spinning your wheels and going in circles.
Perhaps it is finally time to look at what actions you need to take that you have been unwilling to take or were unaware of the options and choices you had.
And if you have been unwilling to take them because you are afraid, I suggest you find someone you trust to work with you on clearing those issues and stories.
Liberate yourself! (and please be kind to yourself in the process!)
Be you. Do you.
With love and appreciation,
PS. Do you have something you'd like to share… about beliefs, preconceptions, judgments, thoughts, and making up stories? I'd love to hear it. Share in the comments area below!
Cool Car Photo by Martin Sanchez on Unsplash